First of all, I don't want anyone, especially you, to assume anything when I write this.
This is what I feel, and maybe at some point of time, what I feel really isn't what you feel.
I swear sometimes, you just read my mind, but in some situations, you read too far off.
I don't know where to start eventually. I woke up early today. Maybe I'm using of waking up early to go to school. Maybe I just can't go back to sleep. Hmmm. Something happened. I really feeling lifeless. I don't know. Relationship with everyone in this house are driftting far apart. Abang didn't talked to me like how he used too. He seem to hate me. He seem to ignore me.
Ibu try to talk to me after what had happened but I just feel different talking to her normally.
Tehah is the one I'm close in the house now. SIGHS.
Thousand of Thank to my beloved friends!
Nur Mahalinee Bte Abu Bakar, Nur Sabrina Bte Hissam, Nurul Syifaa Bte Zulkfili and Nor Hafizzah Bte Humsani for being there for me when I'm feeling damn down yesterday. I'm really damn touch. Lyn and sab came to my house. Eyfa and Fiza comforting me on the phone. Hell thank for the care. I really appriciate it so much.
To you ibu♥:I'm sorry for all those tears. I'm really am sorry. Sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry if I'm not a good daughter to you. Mum, I willingly to let everything go. Just for you. Everyone that knows me well will know how much you mean to me. I just can't bear to see you cry over and over again. It's hurt a lot. Its enough for me to see you cry 4 years ago cause of my wrongdoing.
I know I'm not a good daughter. You are very patient with me. VERY. I know you care. No wonder I feel different when you didn't talk to me. I can sense something is not right. We didn't jokes and talk like how we used too.You didn't Talked to me the past 3 days. I shared it with Nadu. I told her how sad am i when you didn't talked to me. And yeah, I was right. Something was not right.
Its hurt me damn much when you said that 'Between the three of us, You love me the most. I'm the child you trust most. Shall you trust me again after this'
I'm sorry. Yeah. You're right. I'm still young. I shall enjoy my life and studies come first.
Thank for being so understanding Ibu. Thank for not letting dad know about this. Thank for the
advice. Thank for giving me another chance. Thank for trusting me again. Thank for the care. Thank for understanding my feelings as a teenagers.
In short, Thank for everything.
Once again, I'm really sorry for those tears. I'm sorry for making you saying sorry to me when in fact, I'm the one who shall say sorry. I'm sorry for not being a good daughter. I'm really sorry.
But, every year you will cry. Every Hari Raya Morning when we are seeking for forgiveness. lol.
I love you.
To abang♥:
I'm sorry for all this that had happened. I didn't know you care this much for me. Don't bother finding him. He didn't do anything to me. Even if he does, being a girl that are educated with religious, I know when and how to stop. You don't have to think bad about him. He not as bad as you think. I am so sorry. I'm gonna change for better. I'm sorry for being rude to you all this while. I'm really am sorry. I love you.
To ♥You♥:
Some things can't explained by words but I just want you to know that i really love you.I'm sorry for this break up again and again. You shall know how much i love you. How much i yearn for you. How much i miss you. But things are not on my
side for now. I have to let you go again. I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to make you cry over and over again. I know and I choose to believe your loves towards me are true.
No matter what people said to me.
"This kind of guy you want? He just want to have fun with you. He wont serious. He's not for you. Are you crazy? He just making use of you. Can others accept him?"
I choose not to believe on what other say of you cause I love you. I don't care and I don't give a fucking damn care on it.
You keep asking me "Are you serious with me? Don't you feel embarrassed
walking and being with me?" Like i say I don't give a fucking damn care on what others said about you. So what if you are not like others? So what if you're appearance sucks? So what?!
The important things is that you are willing to change. And I just love you for who and how you are.
We like to fight. Shout and scream at each other. Sometimes during those fight, I'm the one who will easily gave up but you are the one who keep making me strong to go on with this relationship. And i shall say that fighting with you for almost everyday makes me love you more and more. I'm easily sick of fighting with you but I don't know why fighting that makes us closer to each other. We share alots of memories togather. Sad and Happy. We do many stupid things togather. Like talking otp till early morning when i have school and you have to go to work. We tell dirty jokes togather. We shared story togathers. And I really hate it when I'm talking, You fall asleep. You said I have a big mouth that like to talk alot. But when you fall asleep, I love to listen to your snoring. I love listening to your breath. And when we fight, I will be the one who put down the phone and you be the one who called me till I picked up. And remember b, that time when we meet, You havent had your shower and you hug me tightly? Eventhough you smell like shit, to me you still smell like the perfume that you always used. I remember the night when we laugh alot end up fighting and end up both of use crying. How foolish can our love be?I miss giving you little notes. I miss our endless hugs. I miss your night sleepy voice. I miss our Bugis outing.
I miss 12April2009 so much. In short, I miss us.
I remember every moments with you. Every memories infact.
I love your name. And I love mines. Our name are like the same. Look like with have the same chemistry.
And yes, I know we promised alots of things togather. I know, I promised that no matter what, we shall stay togather. But baby, not for now. I have to let you go. You say you willing to wait no matter how long it is. You say you can't live without me.
But if you were to have other girls after this, I will accept it. I understand. You're are gettting older while me, have a long way to go in life.
I promised as for now, no other guys except you. I promised my love are all for you.
No other guy after you till I reach the age 20. As for now, the best things is being friend.
If we are really mean for each other, we will meet each other one day. With god willing.
12April2009 will always be in my mind. With me always. In my hearts.
I am sorry for the tears that are pouring now.
I am sorry for the pain that are causing now.
I am sorry for all the heartaches.
I am sorry for everything.
imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyou.I love you ♥Mirwan♥ and thank for everything.
Niat di Hati Tak nak berpisah
;
Dah lama tak berjumpa
Rindu rasa hati
Inginku bertemu denganmu
Biarpun hati ini
Menyatakan benci
Namun hakikat
Kau masihku sayang
Mengapa kita berjumpa
Dan mengapa kita bercinta
Niat hatiku nak kekal lama
Hidup denganmu wahai kasih
Niat hatiku tak nak berpisah
Apakan daya jodoh tiada
Kenangan demi kenangan
Menjelma diingatan
Sukarnya melupakan dirimu
Rintihan demi rintihan
Menyeksakan hidupku
Aku derita... keranamu
Oh kekasih
Sungguh tidakku sangka
Akhirnya begini
Sebuah ikatan asmara
Engkau yang aku sayang
Yang aku kasihi
Mungkinkah bersatu kembali
My heart and soul is dead.
much loves:amirah
XoXo from princess
@ 8:24 AM
