I try to do my best in all examination but still i failed.
I try to do my best in all test but still i failed.
I try to do my best to focus in class but yet still i failed.
Do you know how its hurt to keep failing and falling down?
Infact, i try my very best. I study late till night but still i can't make it. In everything I do, I keep telling myself i can do it. But yet, I failed.
In my mind now, there's nothing else. Only the word failure. I want to be always positive and not giving up but still i failed. I lost interest in studies. I lost interest in going school. To be frank, I actually goes to school as I will be very happy seeing my friends. But each time, in classroom, I try to stay focus but still i cant. Its very hard. Its very torturing. I want to be like other student. They put in hard effort but still can make it. Why not me? What goes wrong?
I told myself If i can't i wanna go ITE. I don't get it why still some people look down on ITE. Is it very low class to go to ITE ? I myself wanna go ITE cos i know i cant make it to O level. I know my standard people. I know. I've been feeling down. I did study for my physics test last week. Yes. i slept late just to study physics. I hate science yet i study very hard for it. But still i failed. I get only 2/25. Its very hurting. I try my best. I may say, I always failed science. But people wont know how i really want to pass that subject. People wont know how its hurt to keep failing.
People nag, scold, angry, look down on me. But have you ever asked what I'm actually am suffering? I lose all my confident. I lose all hopes. :(
And yet all this happened again.
Never did i expect all this to happen. I gave you love. You gave me pretend. I remember everything you told me. Your sweetwords and stuff. But never did i expect it was you who playy behind my back! You wont know how hurtful it might be! I gave you my whole heart. I told myself to always believe in you but yet this is what i get. You gave me strenght. But you the one who destroyed it. But why?
Why did you do this in the first place? What did i do to deserve all this from you in the first place? Why you gave me hopes, strength, love and care when you have already someone else. Why did you pretend? Why did you do this to me? Why?
why am i so blind? why? god gave me dream to show the real you. But i choose not to believe. Like what people say'mimpi itu mainan tidur'. i choose to believe in that. And again god gave me a link to show the real you. And from there, i saw everything. Everything. And you cant goes on hiding it, faking it. I really thank god for showing me everything.
8 months you with her. Can't you be faithful to her? why you bother hurting us? You action really hurt me. I though you were true. But yet. I was wrong.
You sang me alot of song. You showed me the meaning of it and yes i was so so fool to believe you! 'all my life, alasanmu, fall for you, gerimis mengundang, sanggupkah kau bersabar sayang' and many more. You the one who shall know the real meaning of it. You fake alot. Real lot.
SOmetimes now i feel like im dreaming. I dont believe that this really happened. I dont hate you. Infact i still love you. Im deeply hurt by your words and action. why? I told them not to find you. Let karma haunts you. I just hope one day you will realise your mistake. I be lying to say that i forget you. Im hoping for your return still. The new you with a new life. Not now. Maybe later.
why did you hurt me? why did you do this to me? cant you see my pain in being with you? I fought with my cousin and friends to be with you. And it very pain to fight with my parents and sibling just to be with you. Do you know that? You fake alot. WHY? WHY AM I YOUR VICTIM? just why? i really wanna know that?! its hurt. damn hurt. I stay faithful to you. yet this i get. you know my weakness. You know yet you misued it. why me of all people? thanks alot mirwan. thanks alot. really. :(
Never did i expect all this to happen. I really don't know what to say. My tears are dry. I cant cry anymore. I feel so dead. I don't feel like going school. I don't feel like doing anything anymore, Why? i feel so dead. i pretend alot.
its very hurting people. haish.
XoXo from princess
@ 4:09 PM
