Letters To You

So today! Let me blog. Since I have the time. So yesterday work was fun plus tiring. Ok damn. Francis was damn cute. I was debating with Jaya about what I am thinking about guys. And I keep saying"alar, guys are all the same!" He came and said " I heard what you said mira! No! Not all guys are the same." So freaking cuteeeee the way he said it! And Iqa came to work. So being extra hardworking and end up, complaint! Lol.

So today, I went to skip school as I simply can't open my eye. haha. I went to Nad house and sleep till 11 am. Thought of going school at 1. But woke up, both of us are hungry! Hahaha. Had our lunch at bedok Pizza hut. Ate curry zazzle, garlic bread and drumlets! Ate alot. Camwhore alot! Picture with that belo. After that, went to get our eyebrow done. (: Walk walk around bedok and saw shidah! HAHAHA. Accompany her for a while. Saw this kinda dress. Brought same pair with nad! Niceeeeee! After that, accompany nad to her workplace. Slackslack. Went to qayyum's house after that. Nysa was being so giler. Extra hyper. hahaha! Had lotsa fun with her! However, I feel sad over something. Haiyooo. I am tired la thinking about it.

So tomorrow working! :( This time I must must not lazy to go to school!
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This coming Friday. 120110. Marked our 10th month. I don't know why but I got to post this for you. I hope you can understand how I feel after reading this.
You know what baby, after the talk we had that day, after i told you everything, I feel that something like stopping me which I don't know what it is.
I remember every of our conversation that day,

you said, " b, kiter nye 10th month nk dekat sey b. happy i. u happy tk?"
and I replied, "you nak tau aper tk b? antara byk2 ex i, u sorg yg selalu uat i nangis. u sorg yg selalu saketkn hati i. u sorg yg selalu marah i. u sorg selalu maki2 i. Tapi b antara ex2 i, u sorg yg manjakan i, tahan kerenah i, tahan i nye perangai i."

I was shocked to see your tears that came out suddenly. Really am I. You hold me tight and said sorry. I find it so weird. You and Me crying together. Usually, it will be me who cry and you will be the one who wipe my tears. lol . I am so sad. I feel that I am so useless. Why after those promises we make go down to the drain since the day I saw Mr Q? I never want this to happened. I guess, as I am too tired with you scolding me, controlling me.

I was so happy when I met Mr Q. He was the one who cheer me up, always make me smile. I thought I can be happy with him. But I was wrong. After all things happened between me and Mr Q, I was so sad, down that I shared everything with you without thinking of the consequences that gonna happened next. You was damn mad with me. You shouted at me in front of the public. You throwing tantrums at me. I still remember, you said this,
" kau fikir, aku senang2 nk lepaskan kau? Kau jangan harap la ader org yg bole sayang kau mcm maner aku sayang kau. Aku sorg yg bole tahan kerenah kau. Aku sorg yg selalu ngan kau."
I burst into tears. You leave me alone. The next few minutes, you came and hug me. You told me to cool down and again you said sorry. Why must you who said sorry?! when I was at fault. You told me to think again. You be here waiting.

Baby, I remember. All those memories we had. I sneaked out from house in the middle of night just to follow you go riding. Playing arcade. Watching movie(: our most favorite things to do together! So many memories b. I hate it so much when you put me aside just for your bike and friends but You know what to do to make me smile back. You are special baby. In many ways.

Remember this b? Our very first picture together. Why must all this happened? Why must my love for you fade? I'm still questioning myself about this. Till now.

I promise myself to love only you. No matter what happened, only you. But things changed. I changed. People around me changed. Maybe that why I received all this.

But whatever it is, you are still the best. Happy advance 10th.

XoXo from princess
@ 8:11 PM