I can't go to bed. He just called me but I didn't answer. I'm too hurt. very very hurt with his actions. Yes I knew that I hurt him. Alot of time. Countless. But come on, in relationship, no one is perfect. I aint perfect. I try my best to love you. I gave you all my love. Feelings fade isn't what I expected from you.
Now what I feel is regret. Why shall I love you in the first place? Why shall I let myself to suffer another heartache after wan? why? Didnt i try to be the best for you? why you doing this to me. why? why only now? when my heart is really in love with you. I really regret in loving you! Oh my, Im such a fool. It's better to stay in heartbreak position that I had with wan than suffering another heartbreak with him.
Yes. I knew what I did was wrong. My mistake for replying to lan's text. If some of you knew, lan is my ex. But excuse me, just a text and you making a big fuss? as if I hurt you too deep. Have you forget what you did to me when we had a fight during december? You yourself reply to her text. You otp with her. You even meet her. How did I found out? I found it out by myself. If i didnt accidently call eddy using your phone I wont able to find out. I was angry. But did I gave you chance? I did. I tell myself its ok. Everyone make mistake. Didn't I gave you the chance to change?
After three days, I found out that you didnt only otp and text her but you went to meet her. How did I found out? I wanted to bluetooth song from your phones to mine. I asked who bluetooth devices it is. You didn't want to admit that hers. You claim its ur cousin. You even swore to me. What am I? A fool or something? I keep quiet the whole day and finally you admit. Mind you, I'm your girlfriend and you meeting other girl behind my back. Be it she's someone you have close before. It's before. I was angry. But did I gave you chance? I did. I tell myself its ok. Everyone make mistake. Didn't I gave you the chance to change?
Each time we fought, you will add some ladies to your facebook. But did I took any revenge back to you? No. I didn't. i did not accept any friends request at facebook from guys. I decline 100 over friends request cos I don't want you to feel jealous or something. I want you to believe me. Still, each time we fought, you will add ladies. I was angry. But did I gave you chance? I did. I tell myself its ok. Everyone make mistake. Didn't I gave you the chance to change?
Now, I made a mistake by replying to lan's text and you can't accept it.Just a reply of 'K' and you're behaving like this. At workplace, I didn't talk to lan at all. Even If i have to talk to him, I asked someone to be my postman. Cos why, I promise not to interact with any guys cos of you. But have you ever think that? No. You even when to the extend to push me hard during the fights we had. You even left me walking alone in the dark, raining to the chalet terrace as you're damn mad with me. You rejected my call. You didn't reply to my text and all. I went to the extend to beg you. But did you have any sympathy on me? No. You didn't. But when everything is fine, I thought you forgive me already. But you didn't. Each time we fought, you will bring back the matter. Am I a doll or something who is feeling-less, heartless where you can scold, shout me anyhow you want. When you realize your mistake, all you did know what to say is sorry. I was angry. But did I gave you chance? I did. I tell myself its ok. Everyone make mistake. Didn't I gave you the chance to change?
That day, on Thursday, you fetched me from my workplace. Just because I didn't want to walk pass Mad Jack, you accused me anyhow. You accused on me having scandal with someone at my workplace. Am I a player all this while? All this while I'm being faithful for nothing? You shout at me at the public. You pulled and grab my hand harshly. Am I a doll who can't feel any pain? It's damn painful mind you. I control my tears. But you didn't care. You even accused me more and more. I was angry and I shouted back. You left me alone. Crying by myself with people around me watching.
I meet u at your place as I wanted my laptop back. You talk to me. Fine. My faults. I can't control my anger. I pushed you hardly. I was damn angry with your attitude. All what you did harshly to me came flash back to my mind and thats the reason why I pushed you. You were unsatisfied with me and you pushed me back too. Mind you, How can you compare a lady energy with a man energy. I almost fall back down when you pushed me. But I managed to control myself from falling down. I shouted at you. I ran away.
You gave me a chase and I thought everything is fine. I thought we managed to settle things out.
was angry. But did I gave you chance? I did. I tell myself its ok. Everyone make mistake. Didn't I gave you the chance to change?
But I was wrong. You asked for timeout and now you asked for breakup.
If I can forgive you, why can't you? If I can, without failed to forgive you eventhough its hard, why can't you? If I can always accepted for who you are, why can't you?
Why? No other man in my previous relationship have act harshly towards me. No man have ever pushed me. No. I'm not comparing. I always thought you're the best for me. I always thought you're the man I wanted to bring with me to the future. Remember our Aiman and Aliya? All that shit we have plans? Why only now all this happening? Just because of one mistakes I did?
I thought you will stick to me no matter what happened. I thought you are the one who can endure everything with me. sumpah u semua pergi maner? :( sumpah u semua tk boleh pkai. :( You know what hurt me the most? when I ingat2 kan semua sumpah dier. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sumpah dier berbakul bakul. haiiiiiisssssssssss! :((
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'M SO STRESSS! FUCK MY LIFE! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! I REALLY HATE YOU SO MUCH! I HOPE YOU'LL BE READING THIS! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! SO SO MUCH!
Dear me, stop crying will you? It's time to forget everything and look foward. Remember how you managed to get over wan? Remember how you managed to stand all alone. Remember how you need no man in life. True. You are too dependable on him. But wake up, he bustard you. He throw you away. He don't need you. He can't accept your mistake. He can't be wth someone like you. Why the hell are you still crying for him? He's out there having fun and you're here crying. Bullshit. Just keep get up when it knock you down. Insyallah.
Pray for me people. Insyallah. Thanks for everything mohammad azroy bin ishak. I love you and I always do. :(
XoXo from princess
@ 1:42 AM
